9 books. 2470 pages. 6 fiction, 3 nonfiction. 2 fantasy, 1 thriller, 1 contemporary romance, 2 classics, 3 memoirs. 6 women. 2 people of colour.
I wrapped up 2019 reading 9 books this last month, 3 of them making it to my preliminary list of most memorable reads of 2019 (still working on it, so behind, aiya). I’d say it was a good month.
Little Women was the last book I read of the year, and I didn’t read any books the last half week of the year because I got addicted to a game called Fight List. I’m slowly catching up on putting together my month-in-review posts and my year-in-review posts, enjoying life while I’m at it.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller
Victims exist in a society that tells us our purpose is to be an inspiring story. But sometimes the best we can do is tell you we’re still here, and that should be enough. Denying darkness does not bring anyone closer to the light.
★★★★★ // Goodreads // Amazon
Chanel Miller was known to the world as Emily Doe of the Stanford Rape Case; her victim impact statement posted to Buzzfeed News went viral. Now in her memoir, she reclaims her identity and tells her story—the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
You know what sucks? “The truth about rape is that it’s not exceptional. It’s not anomalous” (-Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino). In the last few years, I feel like I’ve seen so many articles reporting on sexual assaults, committed by no-name college students and powerful men alike. I’ve read headlines, but I’ve never clicked through to read a single one of them. I’ve seen thumbnails for videos of people sharing their sexual assault stories on Youtube following the #MeToo movement, and never clicked through to watch a single one of them. I never read Miller’s viral victim impact statement… until I read her memoir (it’s included at the end of her book).
It’s not that I don’t care. I do. And because I care, I can’t bear it. It’s painful to read these articles. On one hand, it blows my mind that anyone could think rape is okay; it blows my mind that there’s grey area in this discussion. On the other hand, these stories never surprised me. That’s one reason I never clicked through to read those stories. Additionally, while everyone’s story is important, the internet is a hellscape, and there’s a lot to sift through. I couldn’t articulate it until I read it in Trick Mirror: “It’s because of the hashtag, the retweet, and the profile that solidarity on the internet gets inextricably tangled up with visibility, identity, and self-promotion.” I pay attention to conversations happening around me, but I won’t go digging for pain on the internet.
All of this to say, I read Know My Name anyway. Hearing people talk about the book, I got the sense that there was something different, unique, special in the writing of this book; it wasn’t simply fuel to the fire, like a lot of things on the internet are. Be mindful of the content you consume and intentional with your empathy and the pain you let in, but if there is one thing you read on sexual assault, I would highly recommend this.
This is the first book I can recall that I’ve loved and that I’ve had a hard time picking back up in between sittings. Read it at your own pace. Process it at your own pace.
This is not just a story about sexual assault. It’s a story about trauma, depression, healing, miracles, the messiness of humanity, the power of words.
This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay
Patients don’t actually think of doctors as being human. It’s why they’re so quick to complain if we make a mistake or if we get cross. It’s why they’ll bite our heads off when we finally call them into our over-running clinic room at seven p.m., not thinking that we also have homes we’d rather be at. But it’s the flip side of not wanting your doctor to be fallible, capable of getting your diagnosis wrong. They don’t want to think of medicine as a subject that anyone on the planet can learn, a career choice their mouth-breathing cousins could have made.
★★★★★ // Goodreads // Amazon // Full review coming soon
Adam Kay keeps a diary of his time in medical residency. The book is literally made up of diary entries—short, just a few paragraphs long each, if even. Punchy. HILARIOUS. Until it was devastating.
But don’t worry. Mostly hilarious. Would recommend if you’re in a reading slump. I rated it a solid 4 stars for entertainment alone and bumped it up an extra star for the unexpectedly informative and insightful look into the health-care system.
Loved this so much that I wanted to read Twas the Nightshift Before Christmas right afterward, just in time for Christmas, but I couldn’t find it anywhere; my library doesn’t have it. (I don’t really want to buy it since it’s only 144 pages.)
King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo
One could plot violent espionage and still hope for dessert.
★★★★★ // Goodreads // Amazon
The King of Scars duology (though only the first book is out so far) takes place after the Six of Crows duology, which took place after the Shadow & Bone trilogy. While you didn’t have to read Shadow & Bone to read Six of Crows, I think you do need to read Shadow & Bone anddd Six of Crows to read King of Scars. Ignore this section you haven’t read them yet.
King of Scars follows two plotlines: 1) Nikolai investigating and trying to quell a dark power threatening Ravka, 2) Nina smuggling Grisha out of Fjerda. The two plotlines felt completely separate; if they overlapped at one point, it was neglible. Maybe they’ll come together in the second book.
Nikolai was my favourite character of the Shadow & Bone trilogy—charming, clever, funny—but lost that spark for me in King of Scars, which is a shame, because the duology is named after him. I wasn’t interested in his plotline until the very end. I found Nina’s plotline much more interesting.
Fine, fine. This book definitely wasn’t 5 stars. It definitely wasn’t better than the Six of Crows duology. But was it better than the Shadow & Bone trilogy? It’s hard to say; I had no expectations for Shadow & Bone and fell in love, but I had expectations for King of Scars. Since I rated Shadow & Bone (and Six of Crows) 5 stars, I gave it to King of Scars as well. Yes, my rating system is flawed. I have such a hard time rating series! I basically base my rating for a whole series off the first book.
King of Scars had its boring moments and its gripping moments. The end was a good cliffhanger and I’ll be reading the second book. Verdict: King of Scars was good enough but not great.
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Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote
I don’t mean I’d mind being rich and famous. That’s very much on my schedule, and someday I’ll try to get around to it.
★★★★☆ // Goodreads // Amazon
Holly Golightly is a naive but alluring country girl turned cafe society girl in NYC who makes a living socialising with wealthy men. The basic storyline was maintained in the film adaptation, but in general, the novella and the film are very different. The novella is more of a character study than a plot-driven story, and is hardly a Hollywood romance.
Nevertheless, I loved both the novella and film adaptation, each in their own way. With the novella, I loved how Holly was truly a wild thing that didn’t need no man. This wasn’t a tidy Hollywood story, and Holly wasn’t a tidy Hollywood character. She had flaws. She didn’t want to be saved. She wasn’t concerned with making a point. There wasn’t really any moral to the story. And that was so refreshing.
But sometimes you want a tidy Hollywood romance too, and for that I love the film! In fact, I’m sure part of my love for the novella comes from my love for the glamour of the film and for Audrey Hepburn. It can’t be helped!
The book also included three short stories:
- “House of Flowers”: A young woman chooses the submissive life of a wife over the submissive life of a prostitute.
- “A Diamond Guitar”: A friendship between two men in prison.
- “A Christmas Memory”: A touching Christmas memory between a young boy and old woman.
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The Chestnut Man by Søren Sveistrup
Grief is love made homeless…one needs to live with grief and force oneself on.
★★★★☆ // Goodreads // Amazon
A serial killer is terrorising Copenhagen and leaving behind a “chestnut man” at every crime scene.
This was my second most anticipated thriller of 2019! I was so ready to rate it 5 stars but found that all the misogyny and outright violence against women was a little too hardcore for me. Creepy psychological thrillers are more up my alley. However, I did appreciate that there was a larger plot/someee method to the madness (I mean, as much method to madness as murder can have), so it wasn’t allll for naught, though mayhaps a little extreme. Good Criminal Minds vibes.
Although I didn’t love this thriller as much as I hoped I would, it’s still my second favourite thriller of the year. I like that it wasn’t like the formulaic thrillers I’m used to reading. Or maybe I just don’t read enough Scandinavian noir.
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Some Kind of Happiness by Claire Legrand
It is okay to be sad. It does not mean I am broken or strange.
★★★☆☆ // Goodreads // Amazon
Finley doesn’t like to tell anyone about her blue days. Instead, she retreats into the magical forest kingdom she’s created in her notebook. Then one summer it comes to life in the woods behind her grandparents’ house.
This middle grade fantasy felt like a cross between A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness and The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert. Just as A Monster Calls is a middle grade fantasy depicting grief, Some Kind of Happiness is a middle grade fantasy depicting depression.
I was drawn to the title and cover, but ultimately found the writing style was too young for me to really get into the story, which is predictable, seeing as it’s a middle grade fantasy, but I was holding out hope. A good book nonetheless; potentially a great one for the right audience. It’s great that there’s an age-appropriate book on a heavy topic for a young audience.
Dear Girls by Ali Wong
Let go of seeing yourself as nothing more than an Asian American woman.
★★★☆☆ // Goodreads // Amazon // Reading buddy: Bomi
At first I thought the title was a feminist war cry, but in fact, the idea is that this book is a collection of letters for Ali Wong’s daughters, who are 2 and 4 (according to interviews promoting her book, published in 2019), not that that stopped Ali from being her usual wonderfully, intimately brazen self. The format was inspired by a short letter her father wrote to her before he passed. She wished she could have asked her father more about his life. This book is that gift for her daughters (when they’re older).
I’m sure her daughters will cherish this book more and more as they grow older and older. I imagine that anyone would want to hang onto as many memories of their loved ones as possible. Similarly, as Ali Wong has developed a cult following, I’m sure any one of her fans would race to read this book and love it.
I’m not big on stand-up, but I appreciate Ali Wong’s work and follow it because I’m interested in the phenomenon she’s become, like an amateur anthropologist or cultural critic. As such, I’ve watched her two Netflix specials, Always Be My Maybe, the first season of Fresh Off the Boat, and now, I’ve read her book too. As I’m familiar with said works, I didn’t find that her book offered anything new, besides some anecdotes that are enlightening about her own life but not much else.
For people who aren’t interested in Ali Wong as a personality but are wondering whether this memoir is worth reading to learn something greater about life/humanity (as I suppose most people who read memoirs are concerned with), the short answer is: no.
If you’re an aspiring stand-up comedian: maybe. Summarised, the gist is: You have to go on the road to hone your craft. (Lots of late nights at clubs. Be safe! And if you can’t help it, be vigilant!) You have to have a willingness to fail. It’s brutal, but you need the constant feedback, and not only that, but from a diverse audience, or you risk holing yourself in a niche.
(As an introvert and a perfectionist, I have so much respect for people who are so willing to put themselves out there and fail in front of people, again and again. Being an aspiring stand-up comedian would be my absolute nightmare.)
On that note, the most important takeaway—imho—was Ali Wong’s message to “let go of seeing yourself as nothing more than an Asian American woman”; “[you need] your community and what lies outside of it.” Let me tell you, I have never heard anyone tout their Asian American identity as often as I have while studying at an American university on the east coast. I loved that Ali Wong shared this message with her audience. For that, her letter on “My Least Favorite Question” (ch.12) was my favourite.
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Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
So they soon forgot their pride, and interchanged kindnesses without stopping to think which was the greater.
★★★☆☆ // Goodreads // Amazon
Little Women is a slice-of-life novel following the childhood of the four March sisters—Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy. Each chapter offers another snapshot into a day in their life. There isn’t a greater plot; just a simple, cosy read.
Right before I started this book, I learned that Little Women is actually two books; the first part is Little Women and the second part is Good Wives. US editions of Little Women often publish the two books together, forming a 700+ paged brick; UK and Canadian editions often publish the two books separately. I read from a 700+ paged brick (not the one pictured, as that antique edition is falling apart), but only read the first part (359 pages) and called it a day.
After finishing the book (or rather, the first part of the book, though technically I did read the whole of Little Women, just not Good Wives) and chatting with a few people, I found that most people either loved the book and found it charming, or found it was a bit preachy and not their cup of tea.
I fell in the latter group, feeling the book a bit preachy, not buying into the lesson of being a “good girl.” But honestly, it’s not any more patriarchal than most classics. I just happen to not be big on classics anyway, but I read them because fomo. I might have been more enchanted with this story if I read it in elementary school. Nonetheless, I’m glad I read it so that I could tuck that under my belt, understand references other people make, and watch Timothée Chalamet in the new film adaptation.
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We Met in December by Rosie Curtis
I’m tired of trying to convince people that I’ve done the right thing when there are others out there who don’t need to be told.
★★☆☆☆ // Goodreads // Amazon // (Giveaway win)
Jess has a crush on Alex, but she’s pretty sure he likes Emma. Alex isn’t interested in being in a relationship but has a friends-with-benefits thing going on with Emma. But of course he gradually recognises he might be developing a crush on Jess. But he’s pretty sure Jess doesn’t like him that way, and he’s not looking to be in a relationship anyway. Oh yeah, and all three of them are sharing a beautiful house on Notting Hill.
I looked at the Goodreads reviews before starting the book, so I knew not to compare it to One Day in December by Josie Silver (which was everyone’s favourite holiday romance last year), despite the similar title and cover, and I didn’t have very high expectations. I was ready for cheap drama and a disgustingly cheesy holiday romance. The book was pretty much what I expected. Lukewarm. No butterflies. Just people being silly and me sipping on tea, feeling smug about knowing that Jess and Alex have crushes on each other.
BUT THEN I GOT TO THE END AND IT REALLY WENT TO SHIT. I mean, I was ready for a cheesy holiday romance, but I was up to my ears in cheese fondue, ready to drown and bring the sweet release of death (sorry I couldn’t think of a better metaphor; I’m emotional). The book was going at a steady 3 stars, but I had to dock a star for the end. That was a fun review to write though. (I don’t want to spoil the ending here, but if you wanna know, I’ll gladly rant about it in the comments.)
I share a favourite quote from each read, but if you’d like to see all the notable quotes I highlighted, be sure to follow my Goodreads reviews!
PS: 20 books on my 2020 tbr, november reads, october reads, september reads