June was the month of planning and July is going to be the month of doing. I’ve made some big decisions in the last few days about post-grad life (primarily where I’ll be), and I still have more big decisions to make (primarily what I’ll do, aka a *job* but that’s too scary of a word to use). I don’t want to say anything more until these decisions are finalised and realised, but hopefully it’ll all be sorted out by the end of July, because the lease for my current apartment is up mid-August. Thoughts of the future have been fogging even the happiest moments this summer (i.e. “Will I have the privilege of knowing such happiness ever again in my life??”), but I’m hopeful that everything will work itself out, not in the sense that I’ll be living my best life, but in the sense that life is a journey, not a destination, and that’s completely okay.
Books
The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon // ★★★★☆ // This is the third book I’ve read in which Arthur Aron’s infamous “36 questions to fall in love” has made an appearance in (the other two are How to Fall in Love by Mandy Len Catron — nonfiction, full review on the blog here — and 180 Seconds by Jessica Park — YA, brief review on the blog here). For that reason, I found this YA novel solid but nothing extraordinary. It’s pretty much what you’d expect from a YA novel, though, disclaimer, I always read these sort of love stories skeptically, so maybe that accounts for my blasé attitude. I know that many avid YA readers thrive on this stuff, so if that’s you, this could be the read for you!
All the Little Lights by Jamie McGuire // ★★★☆☆ // This novel was marketed as a YA novel, which I didn’t know prior to reading it, but it read very YA at the beginning… and middle, so I got that sense from it anyway. I also later heard that McGuire is known to be a YA author; this is my first novel of hers that I’ve read. However, I think this novel would have been more effective if it was written as a thriller rather than as a small town life kinda story. I was annoyed whenever Juniper or “the secret” about Juniper was brought up because it felt like there was something there, but it kept getting glossed over, and so I wasn’t able to empathise with Catherine’s fear/anxiety surrounding it. There was suspense that could have been nurtured and drawn out, but I don’t think it ever reached its potential.
Final Girls by Riley Sager // ★★★★☆ // This thriller got a lot of hype when it first came out and it has been on my TBR for ages. It was always checked out of the library, but I finally got my hands on it. It’s a solid thriller with a good amount of suspense that’ll keep you plowing through. My only complaint, if I’m being picky, is that the narrative felt very leading (in the right or wrong direction is for you to find out), which is a pet peeve of mine when it comes to mysteries/thrillers, but it wasn’t any more leading than most.
Scythe by Neal Shusterman // ★★★★★ // As soon as I finished this novel, I knew I’d have to finish the series (there’s one more out and another one coming some time in 2019), though I may read one or two other books before getting back to this. Full review on the blog on Wednesday!
Movies & TV shows
I’ve watched quite a few movies and TV shows this month, including Black Panther, Lady Bird, Thor: Ragnorak, Boys Over Flowers, Shameless, and Queer Eye S02, but I just gotta talk about Queer Eye S02E06, featuring Arian.
Lemme tell you, watching that episode gave me so much anxiety! Arian’s deal is that he graduated from college, walked the stage and everything, but weeks after graduation, he got a letter from the college saying he had failed one class and so hadn’t technically graduated yet and would not be receiving his diploma until he retook and passed that class. The only thing that put me at peace was knowing that seniors at my college finish finals a week before everyone else so that they can have their grades in before graduation, and so they’ll know by then whether or not they’ve passed their classes, completed their requirements, and would be receiving their diplomas.
But what got to me even more was how Arian was dealing with all of this (before the Fab 5 swooped in). He would lie about graduating, saying he had graduated even though he hadn’t. He couldn’t hold a job, simply because he wouldn’t show up. He’d spend his days smoking, gaming, and eating sunflower seeds from a frisbee. He had no purpose or passion. He was in denial, he was stagnant, and he was apathetic about all of it (at least, that’s what his actions conveyed).
This is actually my biggest fear, especially now as I’m trying to navigate post-grad life. Because as much as people around me might reassure me that I could never be like that, that there’s so much more to me, I know that it could be very easy for me to become complacent about my life, and I could get very comfortable there too. It scares me, how close I know I could get to that point, and I hate that about myself. But. I’m determined to be more than that. Though I can’t help feeling unsettled that my determination may come more out of fear than from drive.
Music
I don’t know why, but I got really into Panic! at the Disco this month, and in addition to listening to my own June playlist (my most thoughtfully curated and seasonably suitable playlist yet, I would like to think), I’ve also been listening to Spotify’s Rock This playlist, which Brendon Urie is the cover photo of.
For more of an upbeat-but-not-too-peppy indie vibe, I’ve been loving “Saturday Sun” by Vance Joy and “I Will Follow You” by RIVVRS.
And of course, since I’ve visited NYC twice this past month (recaps here and here) to see two Broadway shows, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and Dear Evan Hansen, I’ve been listening to those soundtracks. I’ve cried several times listening to “Words Fail” from Dear Evan Hansen on repeat. It has both found and drained all my emotions.
Cafes
June started off rough. On one hand, I didn’t want to blow money at cafes every day, but on the other hand, I needed to get out of the apartment and be productive. Either way, I felt guilty. I mentioned this dilemma to a few friends, and they told me that that was their daily struggle as well, which gave me some comfort. I’ve since made peace with it. I go to cafes most days of the week, but not every day, and when I do, I try to keep it to one coffee purchase. If I know I’ll be there for awhile, I’ll pack myself a snack. My drink of the month is cappuccinos, and I’ve mostly been frequenting La Colombe (pictured above), Green Engine Coffee, and Hothouse Coffee. I’ve also hit up new (to me) cafes, such as Square One Coffee (pictured above), Ultimo Coffee (pictured above), South, and Vault + Vine, the last two which will feature in their own blog posts.
Shopping haul
Georgina and I popped by Gap on our way to Trader Joe’s one day and were totally suckered in by the “buy one get one 50% off” sale. I fell in love when I found the mid rise 3″ city shorts because it’s so difficult for me to find shorts I like and feel good in even remotely. When I tried them on in-store, I was astounded that I fit into a size 0, as I wear size 4 for most pants because of my thighs (•̥́_•ૅू˳) though I have a small waist. I decided to get one in navy and one in white, which puts the total number of shorts in my closet to three. And since there was a sale, it was the perfect opportunity to get myself some basic tees as well — a v-neck in soft black and a crewneck in white — which puts the total number of basic tees in my closet to four (I have many other printed tees and non-basic tops though). But the best part is that the shorts in white were sold out in my size in-store, so I looked for them online, plus the other items I was interested in, found that they were all cheaper online, and also used a promo code. What. a. steal.
The only waterproof shoes I had were a pair of flip-flops I got secondhand from a friend during senior year of high school. It was high time I got a new pair of waterproof sandals, especially as the flip-flops were starting to kill my feet (I was getting blisters from flip-flops). This gave me the perfect opportunity to fulfill my dream of owning athletic slides. When I tried on the Adidas adilette slide sandals in-store, I. could. not. believe. how soft and comfy they were. They are currently my most precious footwear. I’d love to wear them everywhere, but right now I just wear them to the pool. I kinda want two more pairs — one for outdoors and one for indoors. I even want to wear them when I’m just sitting.
Wishlist
I’ve been curious about bandanas this season. They look cute, and they seem like a practical way to get hair off my neck and forehead. I spied this Madewell silk bandana in blue horizon multi, but I could probably find cheaper bandanas at thrift stores, or better quality silk bandanas elsewhere.
Lately
If you’re not caught up with the blog, I’ve been spending my summer at my apartment, where I’ve been living for the last two academic years, and which is right next to Haverford’s campus, and will be staying there until my lease is up mid-August. My buddy this summer is Georgina, who has been working this summer at the printmaking studio on campus. We see each other most days of the week, and on days we’re really missing human interaction, I pop by her studio and we co-work there. It’s chill coz she’s the only one working in that studio this summer. We’ve gone out to Chinatown for bubble tea several times, had ice cream from Hope’s Cookies once together (I’ve gone a few times myself), and had a mini egg tart tasting picnic.
Another friend who has been around is Louise. She’s been taking summer classes and working, but finished that up toward the end of the month and is off traveling with what she has left of the break. She’s been thinking about getting a Scottish fold, so I went with her to visit the breeder and meet her kitty for the first time. He was only 26 days old and kept falling asleep as I petted him! On the ride home, we brainstormed names. I think we may be naming him Earl, for Earl Grey. We? She. Earl’s not mine haha, but I’m emotionally invested ʚ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)
I’ve also gone to visit some friends who haven’t been around. Kat had extra tickets to two Broadway shows, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and Dear Evan Hansen (or should I say three shows, since Harry Potter and the Cursed Child comes in two parts), and invited me along, so of course I hopped on a bus to NYC! I recapped my two trips on the blog here and here. What I didn’t mention in my blog posts is that after the initial 12 hours in NYC for each trip, I slept over at Kat’s in New Jersey, and then was back in NYC the next day to catch the bus. I would arrive much earlier than I needed to, to make sure that I would make it to the bus in time, but also to spend extra time in NYC. It was so lovely to briefly catch up with college and high school friends. There’s a picture of Kathleen photobombing my kati roll from our lunch at The Kati Roll Company with Kat, Poonie, and Courtney. Proud of us for finding somewhere to eat besides Ktown (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
Being out of the apartment and on the go this summer (that makes me sound much more active than I really I am; I mostly just go out to cafes and sit there), I’ve found Aimee Song’s raw bars to be an especially nifty snack. The first time I made them was over spring break, but they’ve really come in handy this summer: 1) to save money from buying pastries at cafes when I’m feeling peckish, and 2) they’re easy to sneak bites of if I’m some place I shouldn’t be eating or shouldn’t be bringing outside food into.
I’ve been trying to keep up my productivity by staying out of the apartment as much as I can, and also by sprinkling exercise back into my routine. About twice a week, I walk to Bryn Mawr‘s campus in the morning to beat the heat, read for the rest of the morning (and/or finish up small tasks I neglected to complete the previous day), and then get in a swim when the pool opens at noon (Haverford doesn’t have a pool, so I have to walk over to Bryn Mawr). After the swim, I usually walk over to La Colombe, grab a cappuccino, and then hunker down until it closes at 7PM. Alas, the sun will not have set by then, so I’ll scootch on over to the public library until it closes at 9PM, and finally, when the blistering sun relents, it’ll be safe to walk outside.
That’s pretty much been my summer so far! All that on repeat with some job apps thrown in the mix, and as much bubble tea and ice cream as I can get. My photo a day challenge (which I started at the end of May) is going strong, and you can check it out on Instagram if you want! It’s pretty much my “lately” section, but in smaller, daily chunks, and in more detail. I’m so proud of myself for finding the username @audorb ヾ(･ω･｡)ｼ
How was your month?